he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize