well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
