You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Come share oat with me in your robe
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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