I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
