So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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