Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize