do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
