Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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