Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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