Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize