just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
