Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
