btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
