i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
