I showed him my bush... on skype.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
