Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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