she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
