He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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