Soap is not a condiment
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
