so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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