Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize