I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
