this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
