Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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