With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
