If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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