4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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