he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
