I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
