I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
