Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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