My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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