Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
