what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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