OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize