this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
