Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
