no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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