Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
