I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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