I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
