names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
