I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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