You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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