It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
