Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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