so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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