nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
