The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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