I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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