ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I believe in your delicious
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
