My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i've created a new STD.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
