So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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