You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
