There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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