he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
