1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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