Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
